Self Care for the Holidays, Inside and Out
This time of year gets busy, whatever holidays you do or do not celebrate. Year-end tasks, family visits, shopping, changing seasons, school events – it can be overwhelming. We all need some self-care, but we think we don’t have time. My message to you is: YOU DO HAVE TIME – perhaps just 10-15 minutes a day – and it will pay off with more centeredness to go about your day and your week.
Why do we procrastinate and delay the very things we know are good for us? Maybe it’s because we doubt that we’ll enjoy doing them, or that we’ll be successful at them. Or something else is “more important”. We all do this. Procrastination and avoidance can apply to self-care like meditation or exercise, chores around the house, professional tasks, or even big life changes like changing where you live, whom you live with, and what you do with your time.
When we are nagged internally by those things that we want-but-don’t-want to do, one approach is to examine the task or project or situation, and find a small – and specific – step in the right direction. A little bit goes a long way.
Let’s say you want to meditate, but you never seem to get around to it. The first step is to pick a time and place – both need to be quiet (although once you are a practiced meditator, you can do it anywhere). The next step is to choose a method – will you use awareness of breath, or a mantra, or some other method? Sally Kempton’s book, Meditation for the Love of It, is a great source of ideas. Also, set a realistic time frame – I recommend at least 15 minutes to start with.
Then you need to drop your expectations of having some huge breakthrough right away. Meditation is a slow process of reconnecting to more subtle layers of awareness. In normal Western culture, we are not trained to turn inside and see what’s behind the thinking mind. There’s a one-liner about meditation: “It’s not what you think….” Give yourself a chance to find out, to let something emerge. Do a little bit at a time. Even if your mind races at first, watch it lovingly and breathe. Your mind will calm down and there is a deeper part of your awareness – the witness – that can watch the process.
To help the mind and breath to slow down, try chanting the syllable ‘OM’ for a few minutes. Pick a comfortable pitch, feel the vibrations inside of you, and allow your mind to become absorbed in those vibrations. Picture them healing and cleansing you inside. See how you feel afterward. It may be much easier to drift into meditation.
How about practicing yoga asana? Many of my students love coming to class but don’t manage to practice regularly at home. My advice: choose three things you’ve learned in class that feel good, and follow the same steps – find a time and place, and drop your expectations, and just DO IT. Your body will thank you and remind you to do it again.
My ballwork students tell me how much they gain from doing the ballwork in class, yet they don’t do it at home. Again, just 10 or 15 minutes can make such a big difference in your state of mind and your connection to your body. Releasing tension, opening up the breath, and simply tuning into yourself is immensely powerful as a re-set to your day, and money in the bank of sanity. You can do it anytime in the day – beginning, middle or end.
One more little thing that can make a difference in your state of mind – your physical environment, your home or office. Maybe you can reorganize a shelf or tabletop that’s covered with clutter, or get a bunch of flowers to brighten up the room. These little touches of beauty and order can be an undercurrent of coherence in a complex life.
Remember:
1) Pick a time and place
2) Choose a method of meditation or other practice
3) Set a realistic time frame
4) Drop your expectations and be present
Will power is a muscle – it gets stronger with use.
Look for Anatomy for Yoga Teachers and Students and Bodymind Ballwork, 2 new titles by Ellen Saltonstall to be published in 2016.